2019: A YEAR OF BLESSINGS

I can't believe it is only few days left until 2020. But i can't really say that time flies this year because for some reason, i do feel like this year has been forever haha. However, in general, i can very much conclude that this year is really a year of blessings. Praise be to Allah.

This year was the year i secured a permanent job for myself. The year that all my previous financial problems reduced from 99 to at least 33. Haha. Because you know the second you secured a job, was the time that you will receive the same exact amount of money in your bank account without fail every month. Compared to when you were jobless or just doing a part time job with less amount of salary and your only pathetic hope was to rely on your parents (at least for me) which was not cool at all because i am already 26 years old. 

This year also marked the first year that i give my parents and my sister fixed monthly allowance. Tbh, i never really gave them anything back then. In fact, i was the one who always asked for everything from them. Lol. But now i can literally spoiled them with almost anything (under my budget range) especially on foods hahaha. Not that much but i am still very very happy because the feeling is just so right. 

And i also graduated with my Master's Degree and got engaged. Guess, this year was really the year that i have it all together. Alhamdulillah.

Not only me, but my sister as well graduated with her Bachelor Degree this year (her convocation will be held next year). My mom got promoted at work. My closest friends got married with their loved ones. Seeing my family and friends succeed, find love or just feeling content makes me feel unconditionally happy. 

The only major thing that makes me not-so-happy this year was my weight. Lol. Before any of you send your pitchforks my way because i know it too well that i've been complaining about my weight my whole life but let's be clear, i weight the most this year compared to all the years i thought i were already so fat :') Everybody noticed and said it to my face of how i gained so much weight. I even don't really feel like taking ootd, selfie or pose for a memory to paste on my Instagram as often as i did before because i know that the struggle is getting real since it is no longer that easy to get that 'perfect' kurus angle. 

I really wish that i could turn that around in 2020 especially because it will be the year for me to get married (insyaAllah). I can't be looking at my wedding photos especially tagged, published photos and thinking of how fat i am and feel very insecure and unhappy even on my wedding day. I could not let that happen!

One of my initiatives to lose weight on 2020 is to participate in run / marathon for at least once in a month. I already registered for a 10km run for January and February. More to go cause i do have my own personal goal for this one. I even bought myself a new pair of running shoes, brand new pants and an orbitrek for this. I really hope that i can make it happen this time. I wish to lose at least 15 kg and allow my skin to glow again like how it used to be before my wedding day. So let's do this and turn it into reality. Amin!

I guess, to participate in at least 12 marathons, to get back in shape and to get married in 2020 are already three major goals for me. And of course, i do have others in my bucket list that i need to cross off from time to time. But as for now, i'm just going to put the spotlight on these three first.

I pray that 2020 will be good for us with full of love, success, good news and blessings. 2019 was definitely a year made for me but i pray that 2020 will be just as great, if not, better than 2019. I also pray that 2020 will be one of peace, prosperity and health for me, my family and all of us. InsyaAllah. May Allah ease everything in 2020. Amin YRA. 

MY FIRST FURNITURE

Nothing much. But just wanted to save it here that on this date, i bought and got my first ever furniture for my (our future) home!

These are actually for my current use for the month. But in the near future, these shall be placed in my (our) guest room. Tbh, i was never really into white color before because i am aware that white is not as easy as any other colors especially dark colors to sustain. However, from now on, safe to disclose that most of my furniture-to-be will be white in color. 

Well, at least that's the plan for now. Let's get back soon. Hehe. 

TWO LESS FISH IN THE SEA

ALHAMDULILLAH. WE ARE ENGAGED!

Can't believe i'll ever say this in this lifetime. Haha. I mean, i remember last time when i told myself, my family and my friends that i never wanted to get engaged. I wanted to straightly get married instead. Lol. How time is a funny thing. But yeah, i am someone's fiancee now. I feel like a grown up woman somehow. Though things were never really changed. Except for there are two rings on my ring finger.

Tbh, i can't recall how the idea of engagement came to us since my boyfriend (which i can now call him my fiance) never get down on one knee or properly proposed me like how we saw on movies or social media. Haha. But one thing for sure is, we made it official and we got engaged on my fiance's birthday on the 16th November. Like, Wow! Congratulations man! You got me as your fiancee on your 26th birthday. You must be very lucky. Hahaha.

At first, me and my family intended to only invite our small circle of family, put on the merisik and engagement ring, recite tahlil and doa selamat. The initial plan was also to only invite about 200 guests (family only) with 2 canopies in our courtyard. That was all. However, we ended up inviting literally every person in our family trees, our neighbors from the same village and even some of our friends (including everybody's friends and my fiance's close friends). From catering to rewang, with a cow sponsored by my Tok Teh for food and 80 ayam golek freshly cooked at the majlis. From 2 canopies to 6 canopies. And finally from 5 cars of rombongan lelaki to almost 20 cars. What a day. Haha.

Alhamdulillah my engagement went very well and almost perfect for me. The rewang was done and helped by the villagers and my family members. They called the team as Olek Sekampung. They even had their final meeting together at our house until very late at night the day before the date. Thanks to them. May Allah bless them eternally. The food was likewise just as good. Some of my family members also brought some foods to share and eat together in the morning. Even my Mak Ngah Anne baked 6 types of cakes for my engagement. Thanks to them as well. I love hearing how everybody was so happy with the food. Alhamdulillah. 

As for my own personal preparation, i did save some of my income for this event (like, of course haha). I took 2 days off from the office so that i can come home and be prepared earlier. To list out; i rented a dais, 4 shaggy white carpets to put in front of the dais, a MUA and a henna artist. My dulang hantaran were from my senior from Silih Cerana Dulang Hantaran. I even hired my high school friend, Saidatul Fatini to capture the moment and i will also print these memories of my engagement day via Lifebuuk. Hehe.

Tbh, i was supposed to wear pink (my favorite color) for my engagement. The plan was to wear saree kurung like how the Raja Permaisuri Agong always wear in public. I already bought the full set of attire including a big gold crown just so my style will look exactly like her. But one thing led to another, and because of my insecurity with my fattest-in-history size (lol), i ended up wearing this purple / lilac kurung dress. Fyi, everything about this kurung dress was done one week and few days before the engagement. Phew.

And not to forget, major thank you to my best friend, Sarah Yazmin for helping me to put on my hijab, crown and veil. She also helped me with my makeup because i sweat like a beast (no workout needed lol). Hence, the reason why my makeup always come off very easily. I swear i need to browse on how to make my makeup last all day long so that on my wedding day later, i will still look and feel good even after the evening outdoor photo shoot session #prayforfiqazizi

Initially, my fiance told me that he couldn't made it to our engagement because he was too busy with his work day and night. And i believed him in that because he was indeed very busy since a month before our engagement. We didn't even contact or speak with each other that much along that time because of his work commitment. So i was like, yeah it's fine though. K k sabar sabar ugh. But again, he suddenly showed up out of nowhere like how he did during my convocation day. This was his second surprise to us all especially to me. But honestly, i am truly glad that he made it to experience this with us. To my fiance, please be known that the next time if you tell me that you are not coming or not around, i will just assume that you will be there instead. So be there! Idc! Serve you right. Hahaha.

Last but not least, Alhamdulillah for everything. Thank you to my family, to everyone who was helping, came to our house and those who were part of my engagement. I can never thank you enough. May Allah bless every one of you. Amin! After all, destiny is in the hands of Allah. There are three things that are already written for us since the very beginning; Death, wealth and who we marry. Allah knows. Allah knows. May Allah rest His blessings upon us and ease everything for me, my fiance and our families throughout this engagement period. Amin YRA. InsyaAllah.

P/S: There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Obviously my rod already succeed to catch my one and only. Other female can use their baits and go fishing somewhere else. Haram ganggu tunangan orang. Okay bye.