A LETTER TO MY 12-YEAR-OLD SELF
Dear Little 12-Year-Old Me,
I wonder what you were doing on this very date back in 2005. At the same time, i know you didn't think much of yourself, just as i sometimes still don't today.
You're just a kampung girl, watching the big world from afar. You spend so much time looking at girls from the city in magazines and on TV, especially the pretty ones, the confident ones, the successful ones. The girls who seem to have everything you wish you had. Sometimes you wonder if you'll ever be like them.
You dream about living in the city one day. You imagine tall buildings, busy roads and a life that feels bigger than the one you know. It seems so far away, almost impossible. But I wish you could see what I see now.
You don't grow up to become one of those girls you admire. You grow up to become yourself, someone you never expected you could be. In fact, the job you do today wasn't even on your list of ambitions. At 12 years old, i bet you don't even know what on earth a Statistician is! If i remember correctly, i'm pretty sure i had never even heard that word back in 2005. Haha.
So as you can feel it, the path wasn't always smooth & it certainly wasn't glamorous, but you made it.
And remember that city you used to dream about? The city that once felt so far out of reach? You live there now. The life you imagined while looking beyond your kampung window is now simply your everyday life. Even your daughter has been growing up healthy and happy there since the day she was born.
Amazing, isn't it? The things you once prayed for become so normal that you sometimes forget they were once dreams. Alhamdulillah.
And the truth is, that kampung life you sometimes felt insecure about, the life that made you wish you were more, was never the problem. That little girl (you) was brave enough to dream & live beyond what she could see.
And funny enough, at 33 years old today, you find yourself craving that slow kampung life again. The very life that shaped you into who you really are. The life you should actually feel proud about.
So keep dreaming. Keep doing your best. Keep being a good person. Keep believing that your world can be bigger than it is today. Because one day, you'll look back and realize that the little kampung girl was far stronger and capable of doing a lot of great things than she ever knew.
Love, Your Future, Grateful Self (2026).
