2019: A YEAR OF BLESSINGS

I can't believe it is only few days left until 2020. But i can't really say that time flies this year because for some reason, i do feel like this year has been forever haha. However, in general, i can very much conclude that this year is really a year of blessings. Praise be to Allah.

This year was the year i secured a permanent job for myself. The year that all my previous financial problems reduced from 99 to at least 33. Haha. Because you know the second you secured a job, was the time that you will receive the same exact amount of money in your bank account without fail every month. Compared to when you were jobless or just doing a part time job with less amount of salary and your only pathetic hope was to rely on your parents (at least for me) which was not cool at all because i am already 26 years old. 

This year also marked the first year that i give my parents and my sister fixed monthly allowance. Tbh, i never really gave them anything back then. In fact, i was the one who always asked for everything from them. Lol. But now i can literally spoiled them with almost anything (under my budget range) especially on foods hahaha. Not that much but i am still very very happy because the feeling is just so right. 

And i also graduated with my Master's Degree and got engaged. Guess, this year was really the year that i have it all together. Alhamdulillah.

Not only me, but my sister as well graduated with her Bachelor Degree this year (her convocation will be held next year). My mom got promoted at work. My closest friends got married with their loved ones. Seeing my family and friends succeed, find love or just feeling content makes me feel unconditionally happy. 

The only major thing that makes me not-so-happy this year was my weight. Lol. Before any of you send your pitchforks my way because i know it too well that i've been complaining about my weight my whole life but let's be clear, i weight the most this year compared to all the years i thought i were already so fat :') Everybody noticed and said it to my face of how i gained so much weight. I even don't really feel like taking ootd, selfie or pose for a memory to paste on my Instagram as often as i did before because i know that the struggle is getting real since it is no longer that easy to get that 'perfect' kurus angle. 

I really wish that i could turn that around in 2020 especially because it will be the year for me to get married (insyaAllah). I can't be looking at my wedding photos especially tagged, published photos and thinking of how fat i am and feel very insecure and unhappy even on my wedding day. I could not let that happen!

One of my initiatives to lose weight on 2020 is to participate in run / marathon for at least once in a month. I already registered for a 10km run for January and February. More to go cause i do have my own personal goal for this one. I even bought myself a new pair of running shoes, brand new pants and an orbitrek for this. I really hope that i can make it happen this time. I wish to lose at least 15 kg and allow my skin to glow again like how it used to be before my wedding day. So let's do this and turn it into reality. Amin!

I guess, to participate in at least 12 marathons, to get back in shape and to get married in 2020 are already three major goals for me. And of course, i do have others in my bucket list that i need to cross off from time to time. But as for now, i'm just going to put the spotlight on these three first.

I pray that 2020 will be good for us with full of love, success, good news and blessings. 2019 was definitely a year made for me but i pray that 2020 will be just as great, if not, better than 2019. I also pray that 2020 will be one of peace, prosperity and health for me, my family and all of us. InsyaAllah. May Allah ease everything in 2020. Amin YRA. 

MY FIRST FURNITURE

Nothing much. But just wanted to save it here that on this date, i bought and got my first ever furniture for my (our future) home!

These are actually for my current use for the month. But in the near future, these shall be placed in my (our) guest room. Tbh, i was never really into white color before because i am aware that white is not as easy as any other colors especially dark colors to sustain. However, from now on, safe to disclose that most of my furniture-to-be will be white in color. 

Well, at least that's the plan for now. Let's get back soon. Hehe. 

TWO LESS FISH IN THE SEA

ALHAMDULILLAH. WE ARE ENGAGED!

Can't believe i'll ever say this in this lifetime. Haha. I mean, i remember last time when i told myself, my family and my friends that i never wanted to get engaged. I wanted to straightly get married instead. Lol. How time is a funny thing. But yeah, i am someone's fiancee now. I feel like a grown up woman somehow. Though things were never really changed. Except for there are two rings on my ring finger.

Tbh, i can't recall how the idea of engagement came to us since my boyfriend (which i can now call him my fiance) never get down on one knee or properly proposed me like how we saw on movies or social media. Haha. But one thing for sure is, we made it official and we got engaged on my fiance's birthday on the 16th November. Like, Wow! Congratulations man! You got me as your fiancee on your 26th birthday. You must be very lucky. Hahaha.

At first, me and my family intended to only invite our small circle of family, put on the merisik and engagement ring, recite tahlil and doa selamat. The initial plan was also to only invite about 200 guests (family only) with 2 canopies in our courtyard. That was all. However, we ended up inviting literally every person in our family trees, our neighbors from the same village and even some of our friends (including everybody's friends and my fiance's close friends). From catering to rewang, with a cow sponsored by my Tok Teh for food and 80 ayam golek freshly cooked at the majlis. From 2 canopies to 6 canopies. And finally from 5 cars of rombongan lelaki to almost 20 cars. What a day. Haha.

Alhamdulillah my engagement went very well and almost perfect for me. The rewang was done and helped by the villagers and my family members. They called the team as Olek Sekampung. They even had their final meeting together at our house until very late at night the day before the date. Thanks to them. May Allah bless them eternally. The food was likewise just as good. Some of my family members also brought some foods to share and eat together in the morning. Even my Mak Ngah Anne baked 6 types of cakes for my engagement. Thanks to them as well. I love hearing how everybody was so happy with the food. Alhamdulillah. 

As for my own personal preparation, i did save some of my income for this event (like, of course haha). I took 2 days off from the office so that i can come home and be prepared earlier. To list out; i rented a dais, 4 shaggy white carpets to put in front of the dais, a MUA and a henna artist. My dulang hantaran were from my senior from Silih Cerana Dulang Hantaran. I even hired my high school friend, Saidatul Fatini to capture the moment and i will also print these memories of my engagement day via Lifebuuk. Hehe.

Tbh, i was supposed to wear pink (my favorite color) for my engagement. The plan was to wear saree kurung like how the Raja Permaisuri Agong always wear in public. I already bought the full set of attire including a big gold crown just so my style will look exactly like her. But one thing led to another, and because of my insecurity with my fattest-in-history size (lol), i ended up wearing this purple / lilac kurung dress. Fyi, everything about this kurung dress was done one week and few days before the engagement. Phew.

And not to forget, major thank you to my best friend, Sarah Yazmin for helping me to put on my hijab, crown and veil. She also helped me with my makeup because i sweat like a beast (no workout needed lol). Hence, the reason why my makeup always come off very easily. I swear i need to browse on how to make my makeup last all day long so that on my wedding day later, i will still look and feel good even after the evening outdoor photo shoot session #prayforfiqazizi

Initially, my fiance told me that he couldn't made it to our engagement because he was too busy with his work day and night. And i believed him in that because he was indeed very busy since a month before our engagement. We didn't even contact or speak with each other that much along that time because of his work commitment. So i was like, yeah it's fine though. K k sabar sabar ugh. But again, he suddenly showed up out of nowhere like how he did during my convocation day. This was his second surprise to us all especially to me. But honestly, i am truly glad that he made it to experience this with us. To my fiance, please be known that the next time if you tell me that you are not coming or not around, i will just assume that you will be there instead. So be there! Idc! Serve you right. Hahaha.

Last but not least, Alhamdulillah for everything. Thank you to my family, to everyone who was helping, came to our house and those who were part of my engagement. I can never thank you enough. May Allah bless every one of you. Amin! After all, destiny is in the hands of Allah. There are three things that are already written for us since the very beginning; Death, wealth and who we marry. Allah knows. Allah knows. May Allah rest His blessings upon us and ease everything for me, my fiance and our families throughout this engagement period. Amin YRA. InsyaAllah.

P/S: There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Obviously my rod already succeed to catch my one and only. Other female can use their baits and go fishing somewhere else. Haram ganggu tunangan orang. Okay bye. 

IT'S A LONG (PRODUCTIVE) MONTH

I don't know about others but somehow, i like it when i'm busy. Not too busy but just busy. I like it when i have work to be done, i like it when i am required to go places and i like it when looking at good things done, and i know it was me who did it or part of it. It's just one of the reasons to keep my heart warm. And to know that i am still relevant and worth it. Lol. 

These previous weeks had been eventful for me. It was all started when i applied for a one week break from the office to go to Yogyakarta with my sister. And suddenly, for the week before that, i was required to be at Hotel Seri Malaysia, Port Dickson for a week for Program Transformasi Minda (PTM). PTM is one of the in-service verification requirements for the government servants.

I started to feel ill at ease because just like that, it marks two weeks of me being off from the office. And i am very much aware that i had so many works to be done. Nonetheless, at the same time, i had to be 'selfish' and be happy that i was granted two weeks off from the office. Hahaha. 

Btw, Jogja was breath-taking. I guess everybody knows that Jogja is very famous with Borobudur and gondola ride. But one major thing i learn from Jogja was, at most of the villages, barter remains central to day-to-day subsistence. It's kinda blow my mind off because i really thought that barter is no longer today. Damn. I love how the places we know very little about often turn out to be the most fulfilling. Actually, I was thinking of writing a blog post in detail about Jogja but then, because of time constraint, this will have to do. 

And proudly to announce, I AM GRADUATED WITH MASTER OF SCIENCE IN APPLIED STATISTICS! My convocation was held on the 9th October. It's crazy how when i was studying, i was thinking of writing a long caption on my Instagram / blog post, talking about how challenging, how exhausting, how frantic was the journey to achieve this. But when the day of the event, i just have no idea of what to write as my Instagram caption. In fact, i have no idea on what to write here too. Haha.

Above all, Alhamdulillah for this. Thank you for my family for always be there for me, letting me do whatever i want to do, no matter how delicate i was / am in everything. And thank you to AA for surprising me by attending my convocation day. He managed to convinced me that he wasn't able to come but then, there he was. Hehe. 

Last but not least, we went to Muar, Johor for three days to celebrate Hari Statistik Negara (MyStats Day) & Sambutan 70 Tahun DOSM. I went to Muar by car all alone at night with my Kancil that my mom was worried sick that she asked me to buy a new car instead hahaha. But hey, my Kancil may be old, but she is a tough cookie okay. She may have come so far but she can go further. Watch her! Haha.

MyStats Day went well i must say. The final event was at Dewan Jubli Intan Sultan Ibrahim, Muar. And thank god for Hairul (our officemate), he is from Muar. After all of the events are done, he took us to experience Muar by eating his mom's home-cooked mee bandung, went to the Muar souvenirs shop to buy mee bandung paste and etc, went to Tanjung Emas and finally went to the famous Kopi 434 for final refreshment before we go back to reality.

Aside from these, I also went to Plenary Hall, KLCC, Putrajaya Marriott Hotel and Parliament of Malaysia for other work / events. And i probably will be going to Bangi Convention Centre these coming days for another workshop. I mean, there will be more coming, more to do, more to experience, more to be happy and stressed about. But for now, Alhamdulillah for everything.

Tbh, these previous days had been kinda hard for me. Nevertheless, every time i'm feeling all of the negative vibes, i remind myself that, having a job can cause so much stress, but then again, so does not having a job. Pressure and problem are just everywhere. I can either run from them or deal with them. So, brb, planning my next day off. Lol!

P/S: My Master's Dissertation is already published online as a journal! Gotta save the link here for myself hehe: Springer Link.

WE MADE IT UNTIL GREEN BELT (BLUE TAG)

Tbh, my sister is always into martial art. She wanted to learn and know the basic of at least one in a lifetime but never really got the chance to learn one before. Until when our Kak Lin invited us to join Taekwondo class at Titiwangsa, KL on every Sunday morning at 9am together with her daughter, who is as well, our little cousin, Damia. So yeah, we signed up for the class because why not right?

We were the only 'adults' in the class lol. Me and my sister were in the same batch with Damia. Oh, our first day was on the 25th March 2018 which was last year. Damia was only seven back then. All of her same age friends were in the same group with me and my sister. Haha. It was really fun though. I mean, it's funny how the kids never really listen to the Masters (read: Taekwondo teachers) but they did pick up and memorized everything. When you were learning the same lesson together with the kids, the Master won't really be mad at you for anything because the kids can messed up better hahaha. 

Having class on Sunday morning was somehow a challenge. We skipped on purpose literally every two or three weeks. There were times when we were tired during the weekdays and don't feel like attending the class on Sunday. And sometimes, we got kenduri and etc. Tbh, i started to skip the Taekwondo class very frequently once when i was already in Sungkai, Perak. Then, few weeks before the Blue Belt grading, me and my sister decided to call it a quit. Not only because the spirit wasn't there anymore but because of many other constraints along with it. One of it was the radius distance from where we currently stay to Titiwangsa, KL. 

So we made it until the Green Belt, Blue Tag. Literally one belt closer until the Blue Belt. Tbh, i was very firm to quit the class but once we informed our Masters (Master Yap Yih Tiing & Master Yap Seong) that we wanted to quit, i feel like a big lost for myself. Shame. One, because we were already halfway to the Black Belt. My initial intention was not to quit until the Black Belt. But as much as i wanted to pursue Taekwondo, i know it too well that we will not going to commit our 100% especially because the class is held on only every Sunday morning.

Two, because i feel like i am currently doing nothing at the moment other than working. It's crazy how months ago, there were so many to achieve; to finish my dissertation, to get a permanent job, aiming to get the Taekwondo Black Belt. But when two of these are checked and i decided to quit Taekwondo, i ended up feeling empty on the inside. Like, okay what now? Haha.

I may sound like whatever but that is truly how i feel at the moment. I think i should figure out something else on what to do with my life other than just wake up in the morning, go to work and come back from work. Yknow. But definitely not to pursue PhD at the moment lol. I mean, give me a break for a second. I do love relaxing at home after work doing nothing. But not entirely nothing. Brb singing, "there must be more than this provincial life".

I know most of us already got their Black Belt since high school or etc. But i am still happy for myself (and my sister) even though we only managed to achieve until the Green Belt (for now). Some of my friends did laugh at me for started a Taekwondo class at such age while i was not even that physically tough cookie and needless to mention, because i was / am fat (?) But i believe that not many of us have the courage to attend class together with kids that were 18 years younger, while knowing that they were all can do better. So yeah. Me and my sister might not know the simple tricks of self defense when we were younger, but we know some now. At least to prepare for the rainy days. 

P/S: Learning is a lifelong process. Nobody is telling us to learn new things only during our young ages. 

62ND ISI WSC 2019

ISI WSC 2019 Official Theme Song by Adibah Noor

I am always thankful of how God bless me much more than i deserve. Like how i am at the right place during the right time. One of the blessings is the 62nd International Statistical Institute World Statistics Congress 2019 (ISI WSC 2019) that is currently held in Kuala Lumpur starting from 18th - 23rd August 2019. The ISI WSC takes place once in every two years in different countries worldwide and organized by or in partnership with the host country's National Office of Statistics. As for Malaysia, the National Office of Statistics is the Department of Statistics Malaysia (DOSM). 

ISI WSC is literally like Olympics for Statistics. The first WSC was held in Rome during the 1887. Last time, it was held at Marraketh, Morocco in 2017. This year in Malaysia. And for next two years, it will be held at The Hague, The Netherlands on 2021. The mission is to promote the understanding, development and good practice of statistics worldwide. 

Truth to be told, though i studies Statistics ever since my Diploma, i never aware of this kind of congress. Shame. But this year i got to witness and experience the congress myself. Even though i am not one of the active working committees or delegates, but since i am working at DOSM, then i got about the same opportunity. Alhamdulillah. 

The first event was the World Stats (WSC) Run to create public awareness on the World Statistics Congress. I signed up for the 10km Women Government and i forced my sister to joined the 10km just to accompany me lol. We both never did 10km tbh. And this was the second run that i joined. The first that i joined time was the Stats Asean Run 2017. It was just a 3km run but i was literally dead. Hahaha such a weak lamb. 

During my 4 months of kursus at Sungkai, Perak, our Directors told us to run 5km (and 10km for the guys) and submit our pace, time, whatever to them. I did 5km in 1 hour 9 minutes which was still a success for someone like me. And for the 10km WSC Run, we made it earlier actually but we were so busy taking photos before crossing the finish line, so our time recorded for 10km was 2 hours 3 minutes. The cut off time was 2 hours hahaha. Whatever. As long as i made it to the finish line in 1 piece.  

I also went for the opening ceremony at Plenary Hall, KLCC. Prime Minister Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad was present at the opening ceremony along with Minister of Economic Affairs and Bank Negara Malaysia Governor. This was the very first time i saw and met Tun in real life. The way he talks already inspiring me like a lot. Crazy hahaha. Before the opening ceremony, there was a special session by Tony Fernandez that talked about Air Asia: More Than Just An Airline. It was an inspiring talk because Air Asia may be the cheapest airline in town but still, Air Asia was not built in a day. And it was not all sunny journey as well. 

On the 20th August, i went to KLCC for the congress as a representative for my division. Nothing much, just went to KLCC to see the presentations and to learn new things as many as possible. Once again, the timing was just so right that during the night, there was an event: Malaysia By Night at the Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach Resort. My name was registered during the evening, and we took the bus together with the delegates around the world from KLCC to Sunway Lagoon. It was a buffet night event with variety of local dishes and performances on Malaysia's heritage. Definitely a night to remember for all the delegates. I got to eat extra (i counted 8) dim sum than usual and even tapau another dim sum home hahaha. Thank God for good foods.

Today is the last day of the congress. And oh, do listen to the Official Song: Statistics Bloom in Harmony by Adibah Noor. It's not a lame song at all trust me. But a cool song instead. We listen to this song every morning through the PA system in our office. Hehe. I never really had a dream of presenting paper in a congress. In fact, i was not even keen when my Master's Degree Supervisor told me about presenting my dissertation paper at Center of Iizuka Research and Development, Iizuka, Japan this end of August because i was busy with my work instead. My Supervisor will be going there presenting the paper. I believe it was just not my time yet. Maybe in the future insyaAllah. Above all, Alhamdulillah for all of these opportunities. 

I PLEDGE TO READ THE PRINTED WORD

To be frank, i have never been a bookworm. I never really read books. I can't even remember the last book that i read passionately (other than academic books that i read by force lol). I adore those bookworms who bring books, read everywhere during their free time and even have a mini (or maxi) library of their own. I wish and i would like to be one of them but most of the time, i just prefer to do things online because it's easier and cheaper that way (such cheapskate). I spend most of time my reading things on Facebook which sometimes there are good things to read there too. I even gained some good knowledge just by being on Facebook.

For example, the very recent one was, i just learn that our washing machines are actually dirtier that we think. It might be dirtier than our toilet (!) This is because the water that settles at the bottom of the washing machine is a breeding ground for bacteria. The article promotes the importance of cleaning washing machines for hygiene and it suggests us to cleaning our washing machines once in a while by running a cycle with a mixture of hot water and bleach. 

See? Just being on Facebook is not really that bad at all. Especially everything on earth is posted online these days. But still, reading books should never gets old. Even though we are in the time where we should go green everywhere. But books should be excepted.

I think i should start a new resolution for me to becoming a bookworm and to read more online and offline. Not just because i think being a bookworm is cool but because i am very lacking in knowledge especially on general knowledge. On a scale of 1 to 10, i can say that my general knowledge is just 3. Or maybe just 2. Sad. Plus these days, my internet usage was skyrocketing because i spend most of my nights alone in my room. Hence, i browsed the internet more frequent than ever. I even upgraded my internet data from UMobile to Celcom. Lol.

Previously, i was staying in a room for one too but back then, i filled my time finishing my dissertation or sleep early during the free time. But now, since i don't do my work at home (because i prefer to get everything done before i go home), so, i literally have the whole night to myself. I was once considering to subscribe Netflix. But then nah, enough expenses on monthly basis already.

So, to start my reading resolution, yesterday, i went to the MPH Bookstore at Alamanda, Putrajaya to get myself some good books to read. As for me, i prefer motivational books above all. So as what i always did (other than going to my happy place, the stationary section lol), i went to the motivational book section. And guess what was the first word i read? F*CK. Haha.

I guess it is somehow a marketing purpose like, "Okay, let's put the word f*ck in every title to increase the buying temptation. Because people nowadays curse a lot. Those who curse, will surely buy this. And Thesaurus what? F*ck is indeed, the best word of all". Hahaha jkjk. But these books are not new actually. I have seen some of my friends posted online that they have read these f*ck titled books. All positive reviews. I might be buying these too for myself in the future. 

So, i bought three books instead of only one. Being A Quran Tag Girl, Letters to God and The Principal Girl: Feminist Tales from Asia. It's funny how the first book i was attracted to was the Being A Quran Tag Girl book. I admit that i don't read Quran that often. I used to have a mission to khatam the Quran as many time as i can in a year which means that i have to read the Quran as often as i can. Then i read somewhere, questioning the purpose of reading the Quran. Asking, why read the Quran in speed? We can khatam the Quran like 1000 times in a lifetime. But what is the meaning of the 1000 times repetition if we don't even understand and appreciate the content of Quran? Wow. It hits me hard. Then i slowly read the tafsir daily, and suddenly i stopped reading until today. But in the end, it is better to ready the Quran in speed than not reading it at all. Shame on me. 

To make sure that i keep up with this reading resolution, i will document all the books that i read in this blog. I know the list will be growing slowly like probably only one book per month or another. But at least i know that i am reading the printed word (or maybe just stories on Wattpad) without fail. I remember the first time when i started to be back active with writing three year ago. Back then i wish to write once a week or maybe once a month. I keep track with myself and always trying to find ideas to pour here so that i never stop writing. Little did i know that after three years, i am still writing tirelessly and always gets excited when i am about to blog about something. So, i wish this will be the same with me and reading. And of course, for me to frequently reading the Quran as well. 

This resolution is evergreen. Which it will not only going to benefit me for a short period but for a long time. I really hope that i will keep on reading and make it as my habit until the end of the time. And to whoever that reading this (if any lol), if you are not a bookworm or if you don't read that much, let this be your resolution as well. Because all good things are meant to be shared. Let's do this. Slowly and surely. Bismillah.