November 30, 2021

MY FIRST LABOUR EXPERIENCE

It's already been 44 days and it's about time for me to blog about my labour story before this mind forgets. Alhamdulillah on the 17th October 2021, i gave birth to my beautiful daughter. We were somehow kinda unprepared (well, almost not prepared at all) since we were expecting the baby to be here on the 28th October 2021 but obviously she wanted to meet us earlier than that haha. 

The journey began when me and my husband went to my pregnancy check up at Andorra Hospital on Saturday (16th October). My appointment usually around 11 o'clock in the morning. I remember me and my husband were so hungry and can't wait for lunch and we also planned to go to Souq Shoppe (the new chocolate shop at Putrajaya) after the check up but yeah, didn't happen at all. Lol. 

So before i met the doctor, i need to weight myself and check my blood pressure with the nurse first. And somehow, for idk what reason, ever since i was 9 month pregnant, my blood pressure always so high like a bird in the sky haha. Previously when i was having my check up at Klinik Kesihatan (KK), i remember when my blood pressure was so high that the nurse took my blood pressure reading several times because she told me that if the doctor sees the reading, the doctor might force me to give birth on the same day for the sake and safety of the baby. 

And so on that day, my blood pressure was 167/110 (normal blood pressure is 120/90) lol. I didn't feel anything at first because the nurse didn't say anything to me at all. But when i met my gynaecologist, Dr. Haliza, she directly told me to give birth on that day because even if i was all okay, but when my blood pressure reading is too high, my baby might trying to give me a sign that she might not be okay inside my womb. Hence, we cannot take it lightly. 

I can recall how me and my husband were so blank when the doctor said that and like, okay is this really happening? Are we really going to be parents today? What now? haha. And we instantly made phone calls to inform our family about the news. The funny thing was, i don't even bring my hospital bags in the car with me because i was so very sure that i will not give birth on that day haha. K lesson learnt. But thanks to my sister, she helped me with the hospital bags and even helped to prepare our house for the arrival of the baby. 



I straightly got warded at room 306 (single bedded room) with my husband. And we had our late lunch there. Since i was 'forced' to give birth on that day, hence, i don't experience any pain or water break, etc. So, Dr. Haliza gave me my first induction of labour on that evening hoping that i will give birth naturally and normally either that night or perhaps tomorrow. Dr. Haliza also did a cervical exam on me to check my progress. Swear that was the most painful thing ever! The pain was even ongoing for like hours after that. I can't even tell if that was the contraction pain or whatnot. 

At night, Dr. Haliza came again for the painful cervical exam on me but still, no progress and no sign of delivery. And the next morning (17th October) around 9am, she gave me my second induction of labour. She told me, the next check up will be around 3pm. If there is no progress at 3pm, we need to choose either i can still try for normal delivery by taking the third induction or might as well just go for c-section. Especially when my blood pressure reading was still high and not okay. 

During the evening, sadly, i was only 1cm diluted and my contraction was also not that intense (at least to me) even after took 2 doses of labour induction. So, Dr. Haliza asked and waited on us once again for the delivery options. After discussing with my husband and family and after considering that i might just waste more time and money on the induction especially when there is a high probability that i might be already be like diluted like 8cm or more but still ended up with c-section because of my high blood pressure (God knows). So yeah, that's how i ended with c-section delivery even after following so may advices on how to give birth naturally haha. I guess, God always works in mysterious ways right? We plan, Allah plans and Allah is the best planner of all. 


It was surreal. I remember thinking like, "okay this is either the last moment of me not being a mother yet or this might be my last day on earth" because anything can happen in the operating theater (OT). Thank God my husband can also be there inside the OT with me. Allah knows how nervous i felt when the nurses took me to the OT and set me up for my delivery with the sound of the surgical instruments, the lights, the doctors and nurses in PPE, the view inside the OT and everything. Truth to be told, all my life, i've never been inside an OT or even warded in the hospital myself. So this was legit the very first time ever for me. 

When everybody and everything was ready, the anesthesiologist told me to sit down and hold the pillow for her to put drugs inside me through my back. My fear of needles was so exaggerating during this time because i cannot imagine how painful it's going to be and i was even overthinking like, what if the drugs doesn't work on me that i can feel all the pain when they do all the work on taking my baby out from me? Ugh you crazy mind!

But alhamdulillah the anesthesiologist handled it very well and was not as painful as i thought. She put the drugs only to numb my lower body parts. Which means that i was also all awake during the operation. Though my body was half numb, i can still feel the movements like when the doctors push the baby out and everything. Only it was not painful at all. Phew. 


We went into the OT at 6pm and our bundle of joy, Nur Aqisya Emara binti Affiq Emara was born at 6.28pm (2.74 kg & 47.1cm). Alhamdulillah. We even had videos of me delivering the baby and some photos and videos inside the OT. Thank you Andorra Hospital for allowing us to take photos and videos and even helped us to capture the memory. This was really a moment of a lifetime. 

After the baby was born, my husband directly went out with the baby, the paediatrician and the nurses. Andorra Hospital guided my husband on how to tahnik our baby right after birth and they even helped us to clean and wrap my placenta (uri) so that all we should do next was only to bury it (no need to clean it anymore at home). Alhamdulillah. 

After giving birth, i was bedridden for almost 24 hours. I even can't feel my lower body at all. Even the baby needs to be fed with formula milk first and stayed at the nursery because of my situation. The next evening, a physiotherapist came into my ward and asked me to walk around the hospital with her. Tbh, i was all okay at that moment and i can even walk fast like normal like no baby just came out of me haha. I felt like, wow, was my pain tolerance really that high that i can't even feel any pain at all? Even the physiotherapist told me that most moms can only walk slowly while holding her hands and some can't even walk at all. But she told me to still be careful and never try to be like normal too soon yet. 

And yes. I was all okay during the day, but after the evening walk with the physiotherapist, during the night, the real pain kicked in. I can't even stand up, sit or lay down without the help from my husband or the nurses because it was so painful. And worst, i even need to go to the toilet like many times. Sorry husband. Haha k k k.

We checked out from the hospital on the 19th October. My baby was diagnosed with jaundice like a day after and she was living her first 2 weeks of life with jaundice and even got warded at Hospital Putrajaya (i was so sad and crying by myself when she was at the hospital). We even met Tok Jim who is a paediatrician at Hospital Islam Az-Zahra several times and Tok Jim even suggested us to rent home phototherapy for 2 days for Aqisya. And me myself even got warded for 2 nights at An-Nur Specialist Hospital because i was caught with fever and got very sick haha. But alhamdulillah everything is okay now. 



So, talking about the delivery package at Andorra Hospital, we decided to go with the single bedded room since it's more private and my husband can accompany and stay with me all day all night in the ward. Andorra Hospital was a very nice hospital with great hospitality. Dr. Haliza was a very good doctor. She's so confident and know exactly what she was doing with me which i was not even worried at all or have any doubt with her. The nurses were also so calm and friendly and they came to our room like few seconds after we pressed the call button even during the midnight. The foods were heavenly. And yeah, i almost cannot find any flaws or anything for me to dislike but the hospital bills hahaha. But still, i wish to give birth at Andorra Hospital again for our next baby hehe. InsyaAllah. And thanks to Nadia Natasya, i got most of Andorra info from her because she gave birth to Erfan there first before me. Thank you Tasya!


For postpartum confinement, i hired confinement ladies for about 3 weeks and a day with Mama Baby Confinement Care, The Ruumah Spa and Che Gayah Berpantang Service. All 3 were daily visits packages which they just came to my house minimum 3 hours and maximum 6 hours. They did everything including bathe the baby, postnatal massage, prepare me foods, tungku, sauna, tangas and etc. Alhamdulillah everything during my confinement days were also went well as i hoped it to be. 


And today is the 44th day after i gave birth to this little munchkin and this marks the end of my confinement period. Yayy! Can you believe this is my baby today? Look at how she grows within 44 days haha. And i'm also already kinda doing well as a mom today compared to my first days. Hehe. It was quite a journey, my labour experience (at least to me). Even though the baby's birth didn't go the way i had hoped but we are still thankful to have a healthy, easy and happy baby. Alhamdulillah. Do i wish it to be different, going through normal delivery instead? Well, i am not very sure if i could handle the normal delivery pain although the c-section recovery was already a pain. 

All praise to Allah for this experience and of course, for our little bundle of joy, the flower that forever in bloom, Nur Aqisya Emara. May Aqisya grow and develop normally, healthily and beautifully. And may Allah always protect Aqisya from any harm and danger. Amin YRA. 

October 3, 2021

HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY!



Happy first anniversary husband! Here's to many more and better years together.
May Allah ease our journey towards a more barakah marriage. Amin YRA.

August 5, 2021

MY PREGNANCY JOURNEY SO FAR

First scan and first time hearing the baby's heartbeats at 8 weeks

13 weeks scan


23 weeks - details scan

Alhamdulillah today i am already 7 months pregnant. I can't believe how quick time has flown by since it doesn't feel long since the first time i knew that i am pregnant. It feels surreal that this pregnancy journey almost come to an end now. Like any other moms, i just can't wait to meet my baby and i pray everyday for my baby to grow and develop healthily, normally and beautifully. InsyaAllah. Amin YRA.

I haven't shared much about my pregnancy journey up until this point, but tbh, even before i am pregnant, i was already made an Instagram account for our baby (lol i know, i know hahaha). So eventhough, i didn't shared much, but i did post this and that on that Instagram account for personal memories. At first i was like, planning to take month by month baby bump photos, writing a diary, making Tiktok video on pregnancy journey, etc etc. But as time goes by, i am just me who is nothing but a panda. Haha. 

So far, Alhamdulillah, my pregnancy was somehow A-OK. Everything was so far so good. My regular check ups is at Klinik Kesihatan, Presint 18, Putrajaya. My health condition is overall fine. HB was good (only one time it was below the normal level because of caffeine (i drank 3 in 1 Milo everyday while working from home) - the nurse was furious lol), i am GDM free, everything else is also all right and i pray that it will maintain this way until i deliver my baby. And i hope that my baby's health condition is also A-OK until the end. Amin YRA. 

I didn't experience morning sickness to the point of throwing up everyday or being all weak and etc. But i did feel nauseous almost all the time especially during my first trimester. There are lots of things that i cannot smell, cannot look including my so called favorite foods, perfumes and even shower foams lol. One time my sister wanted to eat nasi kukus but all i can feel at that time was feeling sick just by the smell of nasi kukus. I even puked that night. Hahaha.

And before i was pregnant, i can go for hours not eating breakfast and anything (as long as i have plain water with me) but not once when i am pregnant. Swear to God, i am already hungry like crazy even when it was just 9am in the morning. It's not that i can eat a horse kind of hungry, but i just hungry. And the nausea attack will be just as wild as ever during this moment. And yeah, this situation and nauseous feeling are still continues until today. Haha. But i thank God that i am still all good and i can still go to work that i don't need to stay in bed all day just because of my morning sickness. 

My sister has been my main pillar of strength all this while during my pregnancy especially when it's just two of us (and the cats) living together under the same roof plus the never ending MCO. Even my husband can't be here with me for months just because of the long distance. Hence, my sister is the one who take care of me everyday, cook for me, clean the house and everything. It's feel great to be pregnant somehow lol. Because you can just be like, "help me, i'm pregnant" and the people who love you will just do it even with no (or many) complaints. Haha. Regardless, i pray that Allah will ease everything for my sister and grant my sister the highest rank in Jannah for all the good deeds she had done and will be doing for me and my baby. Amin YRA. 

And of course, we can never ignore the elephant in the room which is the COVID-19 virus. Especially when the total new daily cases for today is already 20k with total overall cases of 1.2 millions like, what is that? How can that ever possible? Sigh. Before COVID-19, for parents expecting a baby, the months leading up to delivery is a time of excitement and joy. But now, because of the pandemic has brought an unknown into the community, another emotions are also added up: fear & worry. But even with the concern for COVID-19, evidence still says that hospitals are safest places to give birth. Like, it's 2021, we can't just decided to give birth at home right? Lol.

Our initial plan was for me to give birth at Hospital Seremban (so that my baby's birth certificate will be Anak Nogori, like, of course lah kan?). But when the MCO is happening again, we have to agree for me to give birth just here at Hospital Putrajaya. Especially when it is the nearest hospital from our current home. However, ever since last week, especially when the other nearest hospital which is Hospital Serdang has became full COVID-19 hospital, my family and i knew that all of the population near here will go to Hospital Putrajaya to give birth. And everybody can read on the news how pregnant moms and the babies in the wombs react to COVID-19 (nauzubillah). 

At this point, i can almost confirm that i might end up having my delivery at the private hospital instead for the sake of my safety and the baby's. Unless if things go the other way around towards the end. All i can do now is to pray and pray that i will give birth normally to the baby (pray to avoid C-section or anything that will cost both of my kidneys lol). May Allah ease this remaining pregnancy journey and my very soon to be delivery experience. Everything shall be okay. InsyaAllah. Amin YRA. 

Rabbi Yassir Wala Tu'Assir. Rabbi Tammim Bil Khair.

July 19, 2021

OUR FAMILY ARE VACCINATED!


Abah, Mak & Me: Pfizer
Syaqirin: Astra Zeneca


Abah & Affiq: AstraZeneca
Mama: Pfizer
Affiqa Aime: Sinovac

Alhamdulillah me and my family already got our COVID-19 vaccine. It was such a relief because i've always been thinking that i'll be the very last person to get the jab (since i'm pregnant and late etc) and my mom had also been worrying because literally everybody already got their jabs but us. But thank God, Allah is the best planner of all.  

My husband and my sister got their vaccine appointment since the first AstraZeneca introduced to Malaysia. If i'm not mistaken, my SIL helped my FIL to get his AstraZeneca dose during the second batch. My dad and my mom both noticed their vaccine appointments during the same day (but got their jabs on different day at different places). My SIL (and probably my MIL as well) got their appointments after my SIL dm-ed JKJAVMY's Twitter. And as for myself, i dm-ed JKJAVMY, called Klinik Kesihatan and send my query at MySejahtera Helpdesk to finally got my appointment. Haha. 


All of us will be getting our second dose starting the end of the month until early of August 2021. So yeah, i pray that me and my family to never get COVID-19 since the cases today are terrifying. COVID-19 is literally no joke especially when i am currently 25 weeks pregnant and everywhere in the news were about how pregnant moms and their babies affected and got very sick by this virus. And thank God, Malaysia also already made COVID-19 rapid antigen testing kit which we can perform the test just at home without the need to go to any clinics. I am so going to buy that kit especially when i already deliver my baby soon. Better to be safe than sorry right? 

May the goal for Malaysia to achieve herd immunity against COVID-19 by December be achieved and may Allah protect us all from the killing virus. Amin YRA. 

May 12, 2021

MCO RAYA 2.0




No annual raya photos this year because everybody is celebrating raya seperately due to another MCO so here's our custom made kad raya from the very recent photos of us together as a family. Haha. Happy Eid Mubarak from my family to yours! May this Eid brings nothing but joy and peace for us all. Maaf zahir & batin 💗

April 1, 2021

OUR TTC JOURNEY


Every couples have their own story on getting pregnant. Some had it easy, some was not even trying, some waited for years only to conceive and some even had their family planning to not get pregnant as soon as they get married. It is all depends on the needs and wants of the couples. As for me and my husband, we are that kind of couple who would like to conceive as soon as we can hehe. Like, one of the main goals of this marriage is to get our own baby. 

So, me and my husband are not living together since i am working at Putrajaya and my husband is working at Melaka. So our chance to meeting each other is only during the weekends. But that doesn't include when my husband has to work on the weekends, plus when our first months of marriage, the CMCO was still on (thanks to the coronavirus). So technically we just meet only like one to two times in a month.

We got married on the 3rd October 2020. And our first TTC (trying to conceive) was around November since that was the first time my husband was home and (we thought that) i was on my ovulation period according to the Period Calendar app. Before my husband was home, i already consulted with some of my married girlfriends on this and that for, you know, to make things work. Haha. One of my friends' suggestions was to use the Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs) test. She said that even though the Period Calendar app telling us that today is our ovulation day, the OPKs test usually just telling the otherwise.

And somehow on my case it's true because the app told me that it was my ovulation day but when we tested using the OPKs test (like 3 times on that day), my results were all negative. But we were still all positive at that moment and just hoping and praying that i'm not going to get my period at the end of the month haha. But as the saying goes, "good things happen when you least expect them to". And we were expecting too much during our first try, so yeah, my period came like a thief in the night literally 3 days earlier from my expected period date, crashing our hopes into dust on the ground. Haha. 

At that time we were like, okay this is it. Allah definitely doesn't want us to get it easy. He also knew that we were not ready yet. He wants us to strive for it and pray hard to Him so that we earned it. And so, our second and foremost TCC journey begins (bismillah). So, me and my husband read some blogs and articles here and there on how to conceive successfully, what foods and what supplements should we consume, what to do and what not to do and everything. We also asked some of our married friends for the pro-tips that we can try as well. So here are what we did: 

Body Basal Temperature (BBT) 

So literally BBT is we take our temperature first thing first when we wake up in the morning (during the same time like ± 30 minutes and at the same position). We are not required to move or do anything yet before we take our temperature, we need to have at least 4 hours of sleep before the temperature is taken and use the same digital thermometer (preferably 2 decimals thermometer) throughout the cycle. Ideally, we should start charting on the first day of period and continue to take the BBT everyday for the month. The purpose of taking our daily BBT is to observe when it rises. Ovulation usually happens a day or two before our BBT rises. As for myself, i recorded my BBT together with daily OPKs test. 


I swear i'm not good at explaining this one because it kinda confusing to me especially during the first cycle and till the end tbh haha. Because i don't see much different on the reading and the chart and maybe because i don't do it as consistently as it should be. So, for better understanding, i suggest you, to do your own reading and research on this as well. 

OPKs Test, Period Calendar App & Premom App

I've been using the period calendar app since as long as i can remember. Back then, i only use it to track my period. And only after i got married, i knew that the app can also track our ovulation period. Lol lame, i know. My best suggestion is, never rely on only 1 app. Please download at least 2 period calendar apps to record your period regularly to increase the accuracy to forecast when is your next period and next ovulation day. As in my case, i used Period Calendar App and Premom App. And these two apps never show the same prediction. Ever. It will always be like one to three days differ. Which means, you can't trust exactly when one app said that your ovulation day is on the 1st day of the month and the other app told you that it is on the third or fourth day of the month. But still, you can take note on what particular day after your period ends to predict for the upcoming months. 


So to double confirmed if the day is actually my ovulation day, i will use the OPKs test. I bought like 50 strips of the OPKs test at Shopee and it only cost me around RM20. Seriously, but at Shopee guys. Because we will use this strips everyday for every month after the last day of our period. Only to confirm when is exactly the ovulation day. I mean, you don't want to spend like RM4 per strip to use daily while you can get way cheaper online. Haha. 

The OPKs test is very simple to use. It's almost exactly like the pregnancy test. The pregnancy test is to test whether you are pregnant or not. But the function of OPKs test is to determine whether you are ovulating on that day or not. If the strip is double line (clearest double line), that means, it is your ovulation day. Go make babies and increase the number of human population. Hahaha. 

As for myself, to record the daily OPKs tests, i used the Premom App. I took photo every time and uploaded the strips on the app to evaluate my progress. It's actually easier when you uploaded them on the app because you can compare clearly the T/C ratio and the contrast level of the double line to define when is your ovulation day. In my pov, this was the most accurate procedure so far compared to others.


Supplements & Sunnah Foods 

Me and my husband also consumed pure honey throughout the process. I also consumed olive oil, black seeds and almonds. I bought these all from Mahnaz Food. And for supplements, i consumed Appeton Folic Acid while my husband consumed Himalaya Kapikachhu and Himalaya Speman. Tbh, i don't really consumed these everyday because i was not that disciplined enough. But i did try to never skip them for too long in a week if i ever forgotten. 

Make duas (drink warm water with a pinch of salt - recite Al Fatihah 7x & Al Ikhlas 7x)

It was my husband who shared with me this one. I also did read this online when i googled things on TTC. I did try it (warm water with pinch of salt) but only like two or three times because i was forgetful as always. Hehe. And yes, we have to make duas to Allah all the time. Specifically. 

Extra: Buah Zuriat (doum)

My husband and i never tried this buah zuriat. But i did read about it and saw it online on the benefits of this fruit which is believe to boost female fertility and sperms quality (can read more online). We can get the fruit from Shopee and there's also like tea bags made from buah zuriat that i saw from Shopee as well. 


Still after all, we just need to put our trust to Allah because we can try so hard or perhaps, not trying at all, but in the end, only Allah determines the grant. Tawakkaltu ala Allah. I'm sharing these on my blog not to pretend to be the next Miss Know It All (cause i am definitely no expert on this) or to be Miss TMI (too much information) exposing 'everything' about our marriage. But tbh, i was one of those who just knew about these only after i got married and TTC. And i believe that there are actually a lot of women and couples out there who have no closed friends to consult on this matter or even don't know which and what to read regarding on this. So yeah, here some from our very own little experience. 


Alhamdulillah, all praise to Allah, we are currently 10 weeks pregnant. Definitely still very new in this and have a long way to go from here. I pray that i will have a smooth, safe and healthy pregnancy. And i also pray that my baby will grow and develop healthily, normally and beautifully. InsyaAllah. May Allah ease everything. Amin YRA. 

February 17, 2021

LEAF ART MILESTONES @BYSTFRHN

Graduated with Diploma in 2014


Graduated with Degree in 2017


Went to Emara's Degree Convocation in 2018


Graduated with Master's Degree in 2019


We got married in 2020






"Allah, You created everything. We belong to You. Ya Rabb we raise our hands. Forever we thank You" - Maher Zain. 

P/S: Get your leaf art from @bystfrhn on Instagram.