WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A MOM
(AQISYA'S MOMMY EXHAUSTIVE LIST EDITION):
First few days was a total blur. My first day at home, I fed my baby with only 2ml of milk during her feeding time in the evening. It was supposed to be 60ml. I mean, what on earth was i thinking?!
In the early days, I don’t even want to be left alone with just me and my baby. It was so terrifying. I literally need help 24/7.
My husband was the first one to learn and master in handling the baby compared to me.
The Confinement Lady (CL) came every day for 3 weeks straight and at some point, I feel like I don’t even need her. Because I need my rest and my sleep especially during the morning (while the baby was also sleeping).
The real struggle began when my husband was already back to work and the CL is no longer coming to help me in the house. Which means, I was alone with just me and the baby.
When my baby was at crying-all-night phase. I got mad just by thinking of my husband who was sleeping soundly far away and here I am with a crying baby all night. Haha.
It took me many days to finally discover how to shower my baby properly and not being stressed during her shower time.
I learn to love someone more than I love myself. Endlessly. And I finally understand why my mom acts in certain ways because of me.
Being a mother make me realize that it is actually so hard to be a stay at home mom. Because there is actually nothing can be done since the focus is only for the baby. Like seriously.
I used to have empathy only for animals like cats, doggies, etc. But since Aqisya was born, it breaks me to tears to see babies being treated badly or unjustly.
The first 3 months really took a toll on me. It was so tiring. I even wonder how am I going to survive being a working mom. But somehow, eventually I did because it gets better every day since I kinda learn how to juggle with it from time to time. Though i'm still learning.
No more small bags or no bag whenever we go out and about.
Everything need to be done very quickly. And sometimes, nothing can even be done at all because the baby is the priority. I mean, the baby gets what the baby wants. All the time.
I became more defensive. As an example, I no longer breastfeed my baby. So, when anyone wants to question about my decision and be a milk police, I will stop them immediately like, ok, stop right there, your opinion and critic does not matter to me. Sorry not sorry.
It bugs me when people pretend like they know my baby more than me and shower me with their comments and random assumptions. PSA: NO ONE KNOWS AND WANTS THE BEST FOR THE BABY MORE THAN THE MOTHER. PERIOD.
I no longer shop for myself. I only shop for my baby. No lie.
I give up a lot but get back so much in return.
7kg is heavy if it’s a bag of rice or anything else. But it’s not that heavy if it’s my baby. Like surprisingly, I can handle carrying her for minutes or even an hour. Unless if there is a stroller or carrier, please. give. me. that. stroller. and. carrier. #sendhelp
I became 100% more paranoid, more anxious, more cautious on everything. Even when I already be so careful, it still scares me if I’m the one who will be hurting my baby. Nauzubillah. May Allah always protect Aqisya from any harm and danger. Amin YRA.
My baby is my everything. She comes first every single time. She is above anything. She is like the magic magnet that attract all my other attentions, priorities to her. Like, nothing else really matters anymore but her.
The anger is real. The struggle is real. The tiredness is real. And when you lost it for seconds, the guilt is real. As real as it gets.
OUR BABIES ARE THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD. EVERY ONE OF THEM. FIGHT ME.
In the early days, I don’t even want to be left alone with just me and my baby. It was so terrifying. I literally need help 24/7.
My husband was the first one to learn and master in handling the baby compared to me.
The Confinement Lady (CL) came every day for 3 weeks straight and at some point, I feel like I don’t even need her. Because I need my rest and my sleep especially during the morning (while the baby was also sleeping).
The real struggle began when my husband was already back to work and the CL is no longer coming to help me in the house. Which means, I was alone with just me and the baby.
When my baby was at crying-all-night phase. I got mad just by thinking of my husband who was sleeping soundly far away and here I am with a crying baby all night. Haha.
It took me many days to finally discover how to shower my baby properly and not being stressed during her shower time.
I learn to love someone more than I love myself. Endlessly. And I finally understand why my mom acts in certain ways because of me.
Being a mother make me realize that it is actually so hard to be a stay at home mom. Because there is actually nothing can be done since the focus is only for the baby. Like seriously.
I used to have empathy only for animals like cats, doggies, etc. But since Aqisya was born, it breaks me to tears to see babies being treated badly or unjustly.
The first 3 months really took a toll on me. It was so tiring. I even wonder how am I going to survive being a working mom. But somehow, eventually I did because it gets better every day since I kinda learn how to juggle with it from time to time. Though i'm still learning.
No more small bags or no bag whenever we go out and about.
Everything need to be done very quickly. And sometimes, nothing can even be done at all because the baby is the priority. I mean, the baby gets what the baby wants. All the time.
I became more defensive. As an example, I no longer breastfeed my baby. So, when anyone wants to question about my decision and be a milk police, I will stop them immediately like, ok, stop right there, your opinion and critic does not matter to me. Sorry not sorry.
It bugs me when people pretend like they know my baby more than me and shower me with their comments and random assumptions. PSA: NO ONE KNOWS AND WANTS THE BEST FOR THE BABY MORE THAN THE MOTHER. PERIOD.
I no longer shop for myself. I only shop for my baby. No lie.
I give up a lot but get back so much in return.
7kg is heavy if it’s a bag of rice or anything else. But it’s not that heavy if it’s my baby. Like surprisingly, I can handle carrying her for minutes or even an hour. Unless if there is a stroller or carrier, please. give. me. that. stroller. and. carrier. #sendhelp
I became 100% more paranoid, more anxious, more cautious on everything. Even when I already be so careful, it still scares me if I’m the one who will be hurting my baby. Nauzubillah. May Allah always protect Aqisya from any harm and danger. Amin YRA.
My baby is my everything. She comes first every single time. She is above anything. She is like the magic magnet that attract all my other attentions, priorities to her. Like, nothing else really matters anymore but her.
The anger is real. The struggle is real. The tiredness is real. And when you lost it for seconds, the guilt is real. As real as it gets.
OUR BABIES ARE THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD. EVERY ONE OF THEM. FIGHT ME.
You know “that mom” who shares too many of child photos on social media and only having child-related stories to share online. Me too. Because I am “that mom” now. Lol. Whatever. My instagram, my rules #tiber
There is nothing so pure in this world as a belly laugh from our child. It’s okay to be a clown, to be a monkey or even a troll, as long as we can hear our baby’s laugh.
Learning I am both more vulnerable and stronger than I realized.
I appreciate my husband even more and convinced that he is a good husband and a good father after we have a baby. He works full time and only comes home during the weekends. He does what he can when he's home including bathe the baby, change the diapers and everything day and night. I am blessed to have such a helpful and understanding husband. May this last forever.
My sister is the second mother to my child. Even when she's also tired like crazy, she still has to help me with my baby every time when I passed out haha. God bless her.
I have my own list of short prayers (duas) for my baby that I recite with her every morning before she’s going to school. And the duas list increases by days. May Allah respond the duas with acceptance. Amin YRA.
I have my own list of short prayers (duas) for my baby that I recite with her every morning before she’s going to school. And the duas list increases by days. May Allah respond the duas with acceptance. Amin YRA.
