MY BEST FRIENDS ARE MARRIED! Alhamdulillah for all the blessings. My BFF, Sarah got engaged on the 28th January 2018 on her 25th birthday. I was the only friend present at the ceremony at Bukit Jelutong. And ever since, the wedding preparations were on and on, this and that until the day of the wedding. I didn't contribute much on her wedding but what can i say is that, i've seen how she's going back and forth, here and there, how crazy worried she was over a very late reply from her MUA, how the nikah was supposed to be on the same day with the wedding reception but then the plan changed and etc etc. The hustle was just as real as it gets.
And i am so happy that in the end, on the wedding day, everything went well just as planned. Yes, there were lacking here and there but that were only the minors and i bet no other people really see the flaws but the bride and close relatives / friends. So yeah. Alhamdulillah and i am as always, really happy for her.
Guess i don't have much to say to her because i've said it all since i am such a grumpy mom. Lol. But knowing myself, i know there are always a lot to say especially to her. So here we go again.
To the girl / woman who give me so much assurance that i will have that one close friend forever, that she even grow me into an independent someone who don't even bother to make time to find another close friend in the world because i know i already got one for life (but i do make new friends guys! In case if people think that i am so, whatever lol). Sarah Yazmin, tomorrow marks a week of you being a wife. And i am still stuck in between believing that you are now such a grown up woman and sumpah lah Sarah dah kahwin ni (?) Haha. I am beyond happy that you wedding was held so beautifully. Your 1+ year of planning, saving and hard work are all paid off. Since i am such a momma but sometimes sucks at giving good advice, so i've been reading and take note on few out of many marriage advice online before i blog this. Lol. Hence, here are some for you (and me) to ponder to becoming a good wife:
1. Be your spouse's best friend. By being his best friend, you got to show interest in his interests (not just vice versa). I believe that not everything that your spouse likes could interest you but do give your spouse the space to pursue his interests in whatever he choose to have interest at. So there would be no such thing as being the lame-only-stuck-with-wife guy after marriage. I'm not saying that it is the bad thing, but you know what i mean. We've seen few bad examples. So let us together avoid that.
2. Love his family as your own and NEVER force your spouse to choose between you and his family either directly or indirectly. Because he may choose you and pick your side today and tomorrow, but in the end, same goes to us, we will realize that it was our family who were there first before our spouse. I believe that in marriage, there should never be things like, "my family" and "your family" because all together are one family now. I remember this one quote from Cinta Paling Agung movie. Not exactly but the quote sounds like this; "Suatu hari nanti, dia bisa jadi bekas suami kamu. Tetapi mama dan papa tak akan pernah jadi bekas mama dan papa kamu". The quote hit me hard of how parents and family always comes first no matter how we try put anyone before them.
3. Last but not least; It's not about the amount of money that we spend, but it's about the thought that goes into something. I believe that this is nothing new to both of us. And so far, i guess, we did well in this department. We did and do spare our thoughts and effort for everybody that we love and care. But somehow, being a gender that have good reason for such caution, i know that we talk a lot compared to our spouse that we tend to listen with the intent to reply instead of listen with the intent to understand. What i have learned is that, to be unified, talking and listening to each other is absolutely necessary. So, always listen to him either when he was talking or when the silence do the talking. And of course, he got to listen to you too. I mean, duhh! Haha.
After all, this is not just the advice for you but also for myself, for my own reference in the future. In the end, everybody knows the basic 'rules' and secrets to a long marriage. But how we understand and practice the 'rules' makes us differ from others. No two relationships are ever the same in this world. Therefore, we know ourselves better, we know us better compared to others. And all we can do is to always have faith, give our best and make du'a to our only Creator. InsyaAllah, the relationship and marriage will happily last forever. Amin YRA.
Never to forget, my one and only Nadia Natasya, the one that always next to me with her marching horn / french horn for solid 5 years without failed. My cakap laju champion kinda friend, even my jemah highest level cannot beat her talking speed. Hahaha. Tasya got married the same time as Sarah. Tasya reception was on the 27th July 2019 which the same time with Sarah's reception where i was Sarah's maid of honour.
Funny story was, i've already told in our WhatsApp group that whoever want to get married, please do not get married on the 27th July because i will be so unavailable no matter what. I remember Tasya texted me and said "Kalau aku nak kahwin juga 27/7 tu macam mana?". I was like, okayyy what now? Can i cut myself into two please? Lol! But since, i don't love Tasya that much to sacrifice and cut myself to two to death (i mean, i wish to live longer haha). So i went to Tasya's at Pekan, Pahang the next day after the reception to give Tasya her precious wedding gift, which is me in front of her eyes. Hahaha.
I went to Pahang with my sister. Thank God for the economy class flight that me and my sister can go from KL to Pahang in just 40 minutes. I wonder how cracked i would be if i have to drive all the way featuring my barai-ness from the previous reception. First stop was Tasya's house at Pekan, then we went to Kula Cakes and Teluk Cempedak together with the newlyweds, Qistina (my long lost 2 years bedmate) and Tasya's Japanese friend, Saco. It was a well spent Sunday.
Dear Tasya, congratulations on your union with Shadiq. I am happy that you choose Shadiq to be your husband. I believe that he will be a very good husband of yours and i have no doubt of you being the best wife to him. I apologize for couldn't make it to your bachelorette party, your nikah and your wedding day. But please be known forever that if i was all available on that day, i am 1000% sure that i'll be there for you. I know you have so many close friends now that we are not that close anymore but thank you for still expecting me to be there on your big day and told me about your happiness and few disappointments during the wedding. Which i know that you still trust me even today. Please read the three bold-numbered paragraphs above as marriage advice from me to you as well hehe. May Allah bless your union and shower His blessings upon you and your husband. And unite both of you in goodness. Amin YRA. Enjoy your final year in Japan. Please come back to Malaysia for good. And even though i didn't make it to your wedding on time, i really hope that you can make it to my wedding in the future. Hahaha. Life is unfair. But at least we still love each other xx
