We got a 5 hours Statistical Modelling test yesterday (it was supposed to be only 3 hours, but the questions were ugh so the Professor extended it up until 5 hours). Along the way while answering the "only" 2 questions, my only thought was, "I want this to end real quick. Please end this very soon. Cepatlah cepatlah penat sakit otak!". I swear this semester is way more tiring and stressful compared to the previous semesters. I am well aware about this semester since most of the seniors were whining all the time about how suffering the semester was. But actually i thought that i can handle it lol! I was wrong. Yes i said it. Who cares?!
I never wanted for the semester to end that much until now. I almost gave up that i wanted to quit my Master studies for real (just for a moment). I feel like the more i'm studying, the more i explore about everything, the unwiser i am becoming. But i'm not blaming anyone or anything about it. Since i believe that that is the actual concept of learning. Because every time you learned about something, there's always something else that you need to learn related to it. It's a never ending loop. Like, you might feel like reaching the summit but you'll never gonna go beyond that. Okay i lost point on what i was about to say. But, you get my point right? K.
As much as i'm tired of my studies, i thank god that He makes me someone who is firm with her decisions (Alhamdulillah). I always know what i want. This is what i want. I will NEVER gonna quit my studies just because of how slow learner or how sad and tired i am of everything. Though i actually really wanna quit my study cause i hate everything, everyone and every every every *screaming internally*. On the contrary, in actual fact, the obstacles actually doesn't block the path. They are the path. At the end of the day, if i get tired, i always need to learn to rest. Not to quit. I am not a quitter. I won't feed my demons. I won't let people being happy seeing me fall. I won't let people underestimating for a long time. And because of my need to know is forever greater than the desire to be fooled.
May Allah ease Afiqah Norazizi's Master's Degree journey that she ace (or at least pass) all of the subjects, graduate on time, get a decent job, get married to a great husband, be productive along the way, be happily ever after and may Allah accept this Dua. Amin Ya Rabbal'alamin.
Also, something to ponder:
“Barangsiapa yang menginginkan dunia maka hendaklah berilmu. Barangsiapa yang menginginkan akhirat, maka hendaklah berilmu. Dan barangsiapa yang menginginkan keduanya, maka hendaklah dengan ilmu.”
